THE OTTAWA CITIZEN
fridayLIFE

Modern matchmaking: No Ally McBeals, please			“We look upon marriage as not a marriage of two individuals but really it’s two families getting together,” Rabbi Bulka says. “There’s a whole shared value system. They know that. they’re going to be getting together afterwards on so many different occasions.” A matchmaker is more often someone who has a track record of bringing people together, someone who knows the community A matchmaker might say, “I know him and I know her and I think it would be a good idea (to match them),” says Rabbi Bulka. “So he calls her. They go out. He doesn’t like her. Next.” Parents are the filter, he says. Kids will talk with their parents about somebody they’re getting serious about. And then the parents will check to see if the families are compatible. “It makes sense to contemplate some form of matchmaking that would increase the marital support system beyond mere satisfaction of mutual needs,” suggests Rabbi Bulka. “There are all sorts of legendary stones about matchmaking,” he muses. “It’s an imprecise science. We still don’t do it by computers. It’s done by horse sense.” NEXT
JULIA ELLIOT It would be ideal if destiny led us to our intended with the same clear determination that led Nicholas Couglan to Isabel Gore in Irish author Niall Williams’ profound Four Letters of Love.	our cars. There we discovered that we had parked side-by-side without knowing what the other drove. From that moment on, it has been nothing but happiness. I know without this ad we would never have met.” Introduction services involve a real-life go-between in the matchmaking process.
Nicholas wore the mantle of love-sick yearning. Isabel wore the ring of another man. And yet, with her husband’s growing seed within,. Isabel gave herself to Nicholas, as surely as fishing boats returned to the island with the smell of eucalyptus. Alas, the passionate plot lines of literature only occasionally play in the real world. That’s why some groups speed the matching process with the help of community-wise matchmakers. It’s also why introduction services are thriving and Internet sites abound with thrilling stories of couples who used a computer to foster marital bliss. Among the true-love testimonials on Yahoo.com, this one stood out from a woman who says she posted a personal Internet ad in December 1998. Since then she’s received a marriage proposal. “The very first time we met in person was at a crowded shopping mall on a Friday night. We agreed to go have dinner, and returned to	Linda Miller, owner of Misty River Introductions based in Carleton Place, says her client count has tripled every year since she started bringing hearts together seven years ago. This year some 5,ooo men and women, i8 to 86— doctors, firefighters and police officers, among them — are waiting for mates. Many say they want certain things in a partner — similar education and interests, smoker or non-smoker, for instance — and they’re not willing to compromise. Some people cut models out of a magazine to explain what they’re looking for. Others bring pictures of ex-girlfriends. Some want to date teachers or nurses. And there are those who say: Please, nobody like Ally McBeal. The phrase “a little bit up top” surfaces now and then. Ms. Miller doesn’t think the reference is to brains, but she’s not sure. Time, energy and limited choice are factors for many, and the introduction service can
		Misty River Introductions owner Linda Miller has some 5,000 men and women - age 18 to 86 - looking for mates.
		weed out undesirables. "Often they're very successful people" she says. "The only part of their life that seems to have a deficit is their love life." What results can they expect at Misty River? Clients pay $~88.~o including GST and they can get seven face-to-face meetings. About half of her clients usually start dating an introduction-service pick after no more than three meetings with potential mates. In certain groups, such as the Jewish community matchmaking has been an old and honorable tradition — a natural way of linking families. Rabbi Reuven Builca says as a general rule, matchmaking is in vogue in most religious Jewish communities — Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto, Brooklyn, Jerusalem and London among them. Someone acts as a go-between and offers matching suggestions based on knowledge of both individuals or families.