Why You Need to Stop Having Marathon Phone Calls Before the First Date
When you are first introduced to someone new through a professional matchmaking service, it can be incredibly tempting to stay on the phone for hours chatting away. You might feel like you are hitting it off, but I always advise clients to implement a strict fifteen-minute rule for that initial phone conversation. The truth is that there is absolutely nothing to be gained by giving out too much personal information over the phone. If you spend two or three hours talking to a complete stranger before actually seeing them, you might feel a false sense of security, but you have likely blown the real opportunity. People need to earn your time, and the best way they can do that is by taking you out somewhere in person.
The main goal of that first brief call is simply a quick vibe check to see if you want to take the next step. When the clock starts approaching that fifteen-minute mark, it is perfectly fine to politely pause the conversation. You can say that they seem really nice, that you think you share some common ground, and then mention a local restaurant you have been meaning to try. Suggesting a specific place allows you to guide the conversation toward a real date where you can give them your true time, energy, and focused attention. You already have their matchmaking profile, so you will know ahead of time if they have a dog, love to travel, play pickleball, or enjoy a round of golf. Use those fun details from the profile to ask light questions and lead the conversation naturally rather than staying stuck on the phone.
If you find that the other person is completely monopolizing the conversation during your brief call, do not be afraid to step in. You can gently ask if there is anything they would like to know about you. This is a great, polite way to check someone who might just be talking too much because they are nervous and trying to fill dead air.
At the same time, you want to be very conscious about keeping the topics light and casual. It is always best to avoid sensitive subjects like politics, religion, or intimacy, and you definitely want to steer clear of asking about their past relationships. Keep the focus entirely on things you are passionate about, activities you enjoy, and what is currently important in your life. Save the deeper topics for a comfortable face-to-face dinner where you can truly connect.
